Apologize
by Emma Vance
Summary: "It's too late to apologize mage." Just a couple little words- trust me it gets better than that dark depressing! Rated 'M' just in case and for swearing! And yes the pairing is yaoi, so go away if you dislike it! Based on Timblands song- Apologize.


**Hi guys! Em here! I finished this (these)****months ago, but due to the fact that I **_**was **_**drawing pictures for them, a TON of homework, and my usual terrible disease of procrastination, I have not uploaded them UNTIL NOW!**

**I just finished the next chapter of FIW so as soon as I scan in the pictures that'll be up, so for those (like Baka-chan) who almost eat me alive for not posting- well, I'm ALMOST there!**

**Anyway, when push comes to shove I'll eventually update. . . eventually.**

T**he song that I wrote this for is ****_Apologize_**** by Timbland. Most of the lyrics are in italics, but some of them are actually incorporated into the storyline. I just the song really fit Kuro so wrote a fic to match!**

**Warning: This is rated 'M' **_**just in case**_**, trust me, it's not as bad as some of my other works. But yeah, rated just because and Kurogane's swearing- but we already know that he does that! Also (since I ALWAYS forget to put this) this story contains MAJOR spoilers for the series (though the first beginning bit was just something that I made up)**

**Disclaimer: These lovely characters belong to the lovely, evil, manga artists- CLAMP. Even if I have the Moko-chan's I still cannot acquire the characters. I. Want. Them. I also do not own the lyrics either- those are Timblands.**

**Read, Review, and Fangirl on!**

You pull back quickly- wide eyes giving away your own shock, fake smile still plastered on your face.

"Oops. I'm sorry Kuro-rin~!"

_I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground. And I'm hearin' what your sayin' but I just can't make a sound._

I yank farther away from you and march off in the other direction. Heading for the front door- needing some air.

_You tell me that you 'need' me, then you go and cut me down, but wait-_

I'm sorry Kuro-tan. . ." Your stupid mage self trails off and looks surprised when I turn around. Something I never do when I'm too pissed to chase you around the room.

"It's too late to apologize, mage."

"Bu- but Kuro-chuu-"

"I said it's TOO late." I snap, turning on my heel and stomping into the outside air.

Stupid, fucking, god damn mage! I'd thought that our relationship had gotten a least a little better after being in Yasha's army. Stuck in that world for six months without communication. But you'd gone back to being your same old self here in Piffle. But as rocky as things were I never thought you'd say that. . . I mean, are you trying to mess with me? If so then you're doing a damn good job of it.

_I take another chance, another fall, another shot for you. I need you like a heart needs a beat, what's left of you._

You go back to being yourself. The damn lies, the fucking fake smiles. It makes me wonder if anything about you is real. In ReCourt you seems so jumpy- playing everything up as fine when you're practically clawing at the walls- as if you're saying that you need to get out of here, and it worsens after the kid sees the book about my past.

Then later when we're escaping you use magic. You'd always insisted that weren't not going to use it, but then bypass your own rules anyway, I mean, CAN'T YOU MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND?

But I guess I'm the real idiot for not leaving you to your own self destructive devices and minding my own business. For making another chance for you to change.

Though I don't regret keeping you alive in god forsaken Tokyo I do wish you would have not done anything stupid and kept safe. I never thought that I'd save you from dying, had you asked me from the beginning I would have told you that I had no intention of getting mixed up in any of their lives, especially not yours. The liars. But when I saw you there: eye gauged out and struggling for every breath I had to do something. I had to save you from death. I had to listen to the burning heat that appeared in my chest telling me to keep you alive, selfish as it may have been.

_Yeah, I loved you with the fire red, now it's turnin' blue,_

I didn't realize that the reason I hated you so much would be that you have a total disregard for your own life, a life that I had come to need with all my heart. I didn't realize that the reason I wanted to keep you at a distance was because I wanted to pull you close and melt that icy covering that you always kept up. I didn't realize any of this till those crimson drops hit your mouth and the transformation started. I didn't realize that I could care for someone so much that I'd become their game to sustain their life. Their primary food source.

But then you had to utter those three fucking words: "Good morning, Kurogane."

You had to change so much that your ice barrier became almost impenetrable. So thick that it'd take years, possibly centuries to thaw. But that's how you wanted it wasn't it? To push me farther away, not letting me get remotely close for fear of what? That I'd find out something that I wasn't supposed to? I found everything out in Seresu- but it didn't matter. I was already hopelessly in love with a complete idiot that can't see what he has when it's right in front of his eyes: A family. I mean, you're the one who gave us the damn roles! But I'm never gonna' know if those words you said were real or another fake. I'm never going to know because I can't tell when you say the truth.

_and you say- Sorry like an angel, heaven let me think was you._

I only saw you let your guard down for a minute after your transformation- and that was in the hell of Infinity of all places. You were standing at the window in our shared room, a towel around your neck, face tilted up in the moonlight. The way you were illuminated made it seem as if you were an angel. A saddened, lonely angel- with wings that jutted out from in between your shoulder blades that even seemed to drop with your mood.

Then you caught me watching and the 'spell' was broken so to speak and you reverted back to your fake, Kurogane hating self. The feeding that night was particularly harsh, as if you were making a point to make everything as painful as possible.

You didn't even bother to try to apologize anymore. That night I walk in after you've already gone to sleep and I stare at your figure for a minute before shaking my head and laying down myself- back turned to you. I remembered when all this shit had started.

"It will always be too late for apologies, Fai." I whisper, knowing that since you were on your stomach that you were asleep. I also remembered how you'd looked earlier, and the fact that you kept everything to yourself. And after that I wanted to beat your head on a rock.

**I hoped you guys like it! Check out Unapologize when I post that- it'll be from Fai's POV!**

**And if you liked this check out my other work- like BFTNCT (you can figure out what that means by going to my profile and scanning through my stories.)! Yes! I ****_am_**** shamelessly advertising myself!**

***laughing* See you guys next time!**


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